032914

Im 43 years old now and continually learning to appreciate the gifts of age along and the irony of hindsight. Second chances are rare, but they usually work out better than the first time around. Second marriage…great. Second career…great. Second home…great. So, it with humble and hopeful optimism that my second trip to Belize this year will also be great.
Now, before you say anything…the opportunity to go back to Tflats came up yesterday on short notice and the stars just all happened to align properly and quickly. So, I'm off next week with hopes that the second time around will be more successful.
The painful agony of rejection after rejection from only a few weeks ago didn't even enter my mind as I contemplated the trip. It was only this morning that it all came back to me and got my heart beating and that pit in the stomach growing. I can already hear it in my head…"They're just being Permit."
If there is a god of Permit, just let me see some tail and fish well. I am remorseful for the vile and nasty things I said about all Permit at the end of my last day in Belize. I will leave Eagle Ray's alone. Please just make Pepe eat my fly and stay on my hook.
Pothetic…I know.
All mumbling rants aside, the lessons that I leant on the water and through fish do occasionally impact my psyche in serious ways. It took a lack of Permit hookups in Belize to make me understand that I really don't deserve any of the gifts in my life. There is nothing I can or could have done to deserve these gifts. They are gifts, not rewards. Therefore, it's ok to just be grateful…and easier too.